Using a computer daily can have more negative than positive effects on children

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2036
Question:
Using a computer daily can have more negative than positive effects on children. Do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
In today's modern world, computers are essential to everyday life. Around the globe, children often use computers from a very young age...

From a personal point of view, computers are an invaluable resource to help young people explore the world around them...

From an academic viewpoint, children have no choice but to master this technological invention. For instance, when I was in university, students brought their laptops to class to take notes, research, and exchange information...

From a professional perspective, the computer has found a permanent place in the workplace. Today, employers still pay to provide computer training to their employees...

In conclusion, there is no doubt that the computer as a technological tool is here to stay. The sooner children become computer literate, the better for their future lives...
Band: 7.5
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Answer 2
I agree that computers will negatively affect children, especially spending too much time every day...

However, the main concern is about the type of computer activities that attract children. These are often electronic games that are very intense and violent...

Even when children use a computer for other purposes, such as getting information or emailing friends, it is no substitute for human interaction...

Despite this, the apparent benefits of computer skills for young children cannot be denied. Their adult world will constantly change regarding technology, and the Internet is the key to all the knowledge and information available today...

The main point is to ensure young children do not overuse computers. Parents must ensure that their children learn to enjoy other kinds of activity and not simply sit at home, learning to live in a virtual world...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words23613055%
Top 300 Words133 (56%)51 (39%)38%
300 - 1000 Words35 (14%)24 (18%)68%
Over 1000 Words68 (28%)55 (42%)80%
Other Comments (baojadejia)
Link Words: 23 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 12; Average Length: 122 characters; Words/Sentence: 19
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
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-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.