Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and safely releasing patriotic emotions

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2050
Question:
Popular events like the Football World Cup and other international sporting occasions are essential in easing international tension and safely releasing patriotic emotions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Answer 1
Every four years, the world stops to watch international sporting events such as the Olympics and the Football World Cup, in which athletes show their best performance to make their country proud...

The Olympic Games are one of the best examples that prove how sporting events can bring nations together, at least temporarily...

Similarly, international sporting events benefit some developing countries that live in a daily internal civil war...

In conclusion, as history has shown, popular sporting events are essential in decreasing international tensions and liberating patriotic feelings...
Band: 7
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Answer 2
Many people claim that the World Cup and other similar international sporting events help ease global tensions and release patriotic emotions...

We all should agree that sports have the quality to bind people together. It teaches people how to lose with grace and how to win with modesty...

Furthermore, the skills that will not be challenged with the competent one can not be improved with par excellence...

All in all, many international events increase the sense of patriotism among the citizens, where they cheer their athletes to win in the interest of the nation's pride...
Band: 6
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words23712854%
Top 300 Words113 (47%)42 (32%)37%
300 - 1000 Words36 (15%)28 (21%)77%
Over 1000 Words88 (37%)58 (45%)65%
Other Comments (roadtruezuan)
Link Words: 14 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 13; Average Length: 114 characters; Words/Sentence: 18
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(10), with(7), that(5), events(5), people(4), can(4), their(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.