IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some experts suggest that if a country is already rich, additional economic wealth can't make its citizens happier. Do you agree or disagree?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200120
TOPIC: Some experts suggest that if a country is already rich, additional economic wealth can't make its citizens happier. Do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
People are divided into the opinion of whether wealthy countries are happier and not. Some people believe that developed countries have enough money so that their people are happier than developing nations, but others condemn this statement. Although I agree with this statement, many researchers ponder that money does ...
By jarry, 2020-05-07  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 399
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has PEOPLE(12) AND(12) ARE(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
This is a hard question to write. Compare between rich and poor countries isn't a smart way, because happiness isn't the same thing for them. The question is to suggest discussing happier or not in the same country.