IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some students found some subjects such as mathematics, philosophy are difficult, so these subjects should be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200121
TOPIC: Some students found some subjects such as mathematics, philosophy are difficult, so these subjects should be optional instead of compulsory. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
In the present scenario, subject choosing has become a very debatable issue for a new generation. Some masses believe that difficult subjects should be optional for pupils, whereas opponents argue that they should read all subjects in the school curriculum. I disagree with this notion; we are living in a competitive ...
By jarry, 2020-04-29  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 429
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has SUBJECT(17) ALL(9) THAT(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • You can improve coherence and cohesion by sharpening sentences and paragraphs with accurate linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 10.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Good essay. The latter part has more grammar errors in the original version and isn't as fluent as the former. Besides, if you switch your point, it may be easier to write.
Answer 2
Nowadays, education is a significant part of social development. In my opinion, I believe that subjects like mathematics and philosophy are hard for many students. However, it does not mean that they should be optional. Firstly, this essay will discuss the importance of these subjects for daily routine, and secondly, ...
By Julia, 2020-02-20  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 282
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Mark:5.5
Should add one more supporting paragraph.