IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: In the future it seems more difficult to live on the earth. More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. Do you agree or disagree?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200222
TOPIC: In the future it seems more difficult to live on the earth. More money should be spent on researching other planets to live, such as Mars. Do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
Scientist predicts the unprecedented growth of population and pollution would get a detrimental impact on the whole world so that many nations find life on another planet such as mars and moon in the future. Some people argue that it brings enormous opportunity for people, whereas opponents condemn this statement. ...
By jarry, 2020-04-13  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 487
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(15) PEOPLE(15) THAT(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Excellent essay, the topic is not easy to write. you should shrink the size and refine wordy sentences.
Answer 2
It might be quite challenging for the future generation to survive, especially the non-educated ones here on earth. As mentioned in my essay below-as people may adopt living on planet Mars. It could be so due to the need for money and research for great thinkers and students in contests as it will increase the ...
By puganda, 2020-03-02  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 353
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(13) FOR(9) MAY(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
The essay's logic should be improved. You may need to focus on the environment or development to support your point. Besides, the writing seems wordy.