IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Does everyone need to study until eighteen? Give your opinion and describe it.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200313
Question:
Does everyone need to study until eighteen? Give your opinion and describe it.
Answer 1
It is irrefutable that education is a very pivotal weapon of the individual life and open the door thousands of opportunities for them. Some people advocate that every people get knowledge at least eighteen years age. I think it is fruitful for both demos and nation. I will not only elaborate on this notion but also ...
By jarry, 2020-03-22  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 482
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
The essay is ok, although there are some small errors. But, it doesn't meet with the question well, which is about teenagers and study. The essay talks on nation and education.
Answer 2
It has been noticed that in most of the countries, students should study until they are eighteen. In my opinion, it is compulsory for a student can gain professional skills through study.
On the one hand, consistently learning can help students become much more successful. In most of the country, students must ...
By Siiiiilvia, 2020-04-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 348
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Good essay. The logic has a small defect: "Nurse" training is still a type of education. Besides, don't need to use "Chinese ... HUAWEI", as we never say "America Apple". You should show an international view in IELTS writing.
Answer 3
This statement says Everyone needs to study until eighteen. In my opinion I entirely agree with this statement, As I think education is a fundamental right to all and everyone should get a chance of proper education. This essay will discuss why this is necessary.
Today the world is moving fast and changing every day ...
By shay, 2020-03-17  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 297
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Refine your reasoning, an actual person example may enhance your view easily. The connection between "government's law" and "necessity" isn't very strong.