IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

 Actions
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200321
TOPIC: It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Answer 1
There is a heated discussion on the issue of whether we enjoy a live show outside is better than watching performance via TV or computer at home. While, to some extent watching a live show in an opera is a delightful experience, convinced that watching at home also matter, others remain skeptical about this viewpoint. ...
By chouray, 2020-03-25  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 303
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has WATCHING(8) HOME(8) AND(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Good essay. 'virtual reality' isn't a good example, which is unfamiliar for many readers. Rephrase some overused expressions, e.g., 'be replaced' and 'irreplaceable.'
Answer 2
People are divided into the views whether live performance is fruitful for them, whereas others ponder that watching on television and mobile phone is a better way. I agree with this opinion according to my perspective it should we watch on television. I will elaborate on both notions in the upcoming paragraphs. ...
By jarry, 2020-03-24  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 457
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has PEOPLE(15) LIVE(14) AND(13); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 4 as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 10.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The conclusion is not very persuasive by your reasoning, besides 'virus' and 'pickpocket' shouldn't be points in this topic.
Answer 3
Nowadays, technology is increasing by leaps and bounds; therefore, everything is available through the internet. Owing to this, anyone can see any performance on smartphones and telebox. However, watching live performances is better than sticking on a chair in front of the television at home. I shall elaborate on my ...
By Gurjeet kaur, 2020-03-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 340
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(7) WITH(6) CAN(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
The idea is ok, one more support point will enhance your view. The original version has too many spelling and syntax errors.