IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Even though doctors recommend older people to take more exercise, they do not exercise enough. What can be the reasons for older people not exercising enough? What will be your suggestions on that?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200517
TOPIC: Even though doctors recommend older people to take more exercise, they do not exercise enough. What can be the reasons for older people not exercising enough? What will be your suggestions on that?
Answer 1
Although doctors suggest that older adults need to exercise, older people seldom do it. This essay will discuss why this is happening and put forward several solutions for this issue.
Today, some of the older people find it hard to make exercise as their habit. It might be due to their lack of interest and ...
By laa, 2020-06-02  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 314
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(11) THEM(9) EXERCISE(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Good essay with reasons and solutions. Some vocabulary and grammar errors blocked a higher score, for example, "lazy" shouldn't be there.
Answer 2
Some of the senior citizens are advised by the physicians to have a regular healthy lifestyle through exercise. However, the older generation often neglects these recommended practices. This essay aims to discuss the main factors of their non-compliance to exercise and possible solutions to tackle this problem.
To ...
Total words: 301
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Good essay. If you restructure it more clearly, like one paragraph for reasons, and another for solutions. You may get a higher score.
Answer 3
Many doctors have asked all the older people to have some moderate workout; even then, they fail to do so. Why? In this essay, we will discuss the reasons for their failures and will look for a successful remedy.
The main culprit of this could be the rumors spread by the society for the fitness of people with ...
By shreyash agrawal, 2020-05-29  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 299
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(9) FOR(8) HAVE(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 1 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Response to the question logically, but too many grammar and spelling errors impact effective communication. Like "the hurdles are words on the street", sort of things hurt the essay very much.