Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Concerns about too many resources and attention are focused on the protection of wild animals and birds may constrain the resource on other items like pets or economic animals. While there exists an initiative that the government should pay more attention to wild animals and birds, I think it is reasonable.
Total words: 265
Band: 6The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
The response is excellent in both logic and structure, your language skills are good too. Pay attention to tiny syntax defects.
Nowadays, the most distressing issue is that for protecting wild animals. Some people assume that we pay more attention to animal welfare. I partially agree with the given statement since extinction seriously affects biodiversity. People are responsible for protecting animals; however, it is expensive, and some species ...
Total words: 268
Band: 6The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, with some simple cohesive devices, but sometimes used inaccurately.
- Help LinkLexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
In the 21st century, there is a group of people who postulate that the government should not exploit many resources and promote the ideas of wildlife protection. However, I assume that it is not worthless to spend resources on protecting wildlife, but higher authorities should focus on other prospects like education, ...
Total words: 299
Band: 5.5The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Language skill is good, but the question shouldn't matter with "education or health." Raters may assume you switch the topic intentionally.