IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200701
TOPIC: Some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
Concerns about too many resources and attention are focused on the protection of wild animals and birds may constrain the resource on other items like pets or economic animals. While there exists an initiative that the government should pay more attention to wild animals and birds, I think it is reasonable.
There ...
By Lucia, 2020-07-12  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 265
AI Comment:
  • The introduction isn't strong enough, suggest to enhance it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has ANIMALS(16) WILD(13) ARE(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 1 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The response is excellent in both logic and structure, your language skills are good too. Pay attention to tiny syntax defects.
Answer 2
In the 21st century, there is a group of people who postulate that the government should not exploit many resources and promote the ideas of wildlife protection. However, I assume that it is not worthless to spend resources on protecting wildlife, but higher authorities should focus on other prospects like education, ...
By Vaimik, 2020-07-09  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 299
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THAT(8) AND(6) ARE(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Language skill is good, but the question shouldn't matter with "education or health." Raters may assume you switch the topic intentionally.