IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Today, more and more full time university students focus on other activies rather than spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 Actions
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200730
TOPIC: Today, more and more full time university students focus on other activies rather than spend a lot of time studying. Some people think it is essential for university students to be involved in other activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
As the number of university students who engage in extracurricular activities increases, some see this trend as a positive change. I completely agree that students should be encouraged to participate in non-academic activities since such activities benefit them in multiple ways.
To begin with, building experiences ...
By sy, 2020-09-22  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 287
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt., but your conclusion needs to enhance.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and there is a clear central topic to each paragraph.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and it shows an awareness of styles and collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, and some sentences are wordy, but they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 2
Nowadays, many students in their full-time higher studies, spend more time getting involved in different activities rather than studying. A group of individuals thinks it is crucial for a better career in the future. I totally agree with the statement.
On the one hand, students who take part in extracurricular ...
By Uzair, 2020-08-03  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 260
AI Comment:
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • You can improve coherence and cohesion by sharpening sentences and paragraphs with accurate linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors in the latter part.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Some grammatical errors, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2