IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200816
TOPIC: It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
Answer 1
In this globalizing world, some people think that international issues should be taught in high schools, while others believe that it would not worth the time for children to study such a subject at school. As far as I am concerned, global issues should be incorporated into central subjects at high school so as to ...
By SY, 2020-09-15  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 393
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(12) THEIR(9) INTERNATIONAL(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Task Response:
-The prompt is not fully addressed, there is an attempt to discuss some benefits and disadvantages, but ideas for disadvantages are limited. By the question, you should discuss both views equally, then give own point.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression, but some places seem wordy.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and it shows an awareness of styles and collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 2
There is no doubt that international news should be included as a subject for secondary school students. While some people believe that subjects like these are a waste of time, others argue that international news will make students aware of global activities. In this essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument ...
By Vikrant, 2020-10-29  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 274
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has STUDENTS(10) INTERNATIONAL(8) NEWS(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The response looks at two sides of the topic, but but some are insufficiently developed.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
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Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.