IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and a lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? How to improve it?

 Actions
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200905
TOPIC: Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and a lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? How to improve it?
Answer 1
Nowadays, people think that there has been an increasing number of unlawful activities and disobedience in society. Inadequate parental care and peer influence are said to be some of the reasons for these acts. However, there are some solutions, such as educating society. This essay intends to discuss the causes as ...
By Florence , 2020-09-07  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 354
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • Paragraph 1 seems long, suggest to split it.
  • Paragraph 2 is relatively short, enrich it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(11) THESE(7) PEOPLE(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The ideas presented are not always developed and or relevant, especially, your solution is too weak.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Paragraphing is poorly handled, with some paragraphs consisting of a single sentence.
-Some sentences are wordy or too long to understand.Use too many passive voice sentences.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 2
In recent years, there has been a growing amount of concern about anti-social behavior and disrespect for others. In this essay, the reasons why contemporary people tend to conduct such behaviors, and the ways to address this matter will be discussed.
First and foremost, the most conspicuous one stems from the fact ...
By kkc, 2020-09-08  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 242
AI Comment:
  • The essay is less than 250, doesn't match the basic criteria.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-Underlength, less than 250 words;  it limits the Band score rating.
- Help Link
Task Response:
-The solution part is weak; the essay's structure isn't balanced.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but the essay is too short to show your grammar strength.