IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Nowadays, people change their appearance by dying hair, buying fashionable clothes, wearing make-ups, and even undergoing plastic surgery. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200927
TOPIC: Nowadays, people change their appearance by dying hair, buying fashionable clothes, wearing make-ups, and even undergoing plastic surgery. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Answer 1
The growing fashions make people change their outer skin and appearance because they want to run with the trends while this makes people applying different modern methods, techniques, and equipment. To some extent, it's a good idea, but mostly it's negative development of our body because it's for a limited time ...
By Tina, 2020-10-03  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 338
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors. Some sentences seem wordy and not in the style that academic writing should be in.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There are attempts to produce complex structures, but these contain errors.
- Help Link
Answer 2
Dying hair with colours, putting on fashionable clothes, wearing make-ups, and having plastic surgery, these means of changing appearance are getting more and more popular nowadays. This trend is that changing the appearance helps people express themself and have a better life; however, it comes with benefits and ...
By Lee, 2020-09-30  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 277
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(11) PEOPLE(8) HAVE(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 7.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are logically organized, and there is a clear progression throughout the response.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 3
With the advent of globalization, people began to pay great attention to their appearance, which has many origins, that's why plastic surgery and beauty procedures are quite popular In contemporary society; however, this newest trend could have a detrimental effect on people's health.
Such a grave challenge is ...
By Farhad, 2020-10-01  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 285
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-There is some good use of vocabulary, but spelling errors are noticeable.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-The variety of structures would suggest Band 6 on Grammar, but the errors sometimes impede communication.
- Help Link
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 4
There is an emerging trend among people in the contemporary era towards changing their outlook in myriad ways. It may be by colouring the hair, buying trendy outfits, make-ups, and changing bodily features by undergoing plastic surgeries. There is numerous rationale for it. In my opinion, it has both benefits as well ...
By Jk, 2020-09-30  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 292
AI Comment:
  • Paragraph 1 is relatively short, enrich it.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant, but some are insufficiently developed.
-Further support and development would be necessary to achieve a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 5
We live in a world where Fashion has become synonymous with looking good and becoming a new way of living. People like to be more appealing and presentable, especially with the Millennials and Actors.
Mainly among Working class people, you are much more acceptable among colleagues and peer groups when you look good, ...
By Tamil, 2020-10-04  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 270
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 1 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok; but your position is insufficiently developed.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Some paragraphs are rather short, due to a lack of development of ideas.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, but it didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Some grammatical errors, such as nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2