IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people think that the detailed criminal description of newspapers and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2201024
TOPIC: Some people think that the detailed criminal description of newspapers and TV can have bad consequences on society, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Answer 1
The crime rate is growing at an alarming rate in all parts of the world. And its broadcast on television and newspapers has resulted adversely on a common man's psychology. Here, some people suggest that these kinds of detailed crime-related news should be bared to be telecasted on any public platform. I partially ...
By ramandeep kour, 2020-10-25  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 345
AI Comment:
  • The introduction seems long, refine sentences.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(8) NEWS(8) SOME(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 7.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response, although the introduction can be shorten a little,
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation.
Answer 2
Nowadays, Newspapers and TV programs are starting to present every condition and detail about the crime. However, a few people believe that the detailed fact about the criminal from the journal and TV Program has a negative effect. Elder people thought that they should protect this type of condition by limiting the ...
By Myat Pwint Phyu, 2020-10-25  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 272
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(9) PEOPLE(7) THAT(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2