Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6054
Question:
Directors of large organizations earn much higher salaries than ordinary employees. Some people think it is necessary, but others believe it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
Answer 1
All around the globe, an employee's wage depends on his designation. Many people believe that this is crucial, but some believe this to be an unjust practice...

It is ubiquitous that directorial level employees are paid hefty salaries to work for an organization, and rightly so because they bring a lot of experience, critical thinking, and educational qualification to an organization and are responsible for steering the company towards success without an efficient director an established company can go downhill in a matter of days...

On the other hand, mid-tier employees feel that the vast difference between their paychecks and directors' pay is unreasonable...

Directors of multinational corporations are paid more than the regular employees. This essay discussed why this is crucial for any organization and why some believe they should be equally rewarded...
Band: 6.5
View full answer
View comments
Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words28213949%
Top 300 Words133 (47%)45 (32%)33%
300 - 1000 Words48 (17%)30 (21%)62%
Over 1000 Words101 (35%)64 (46%)63%
Other Comments (munib)
Link Words: 17 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 13; Average Length: 139 characters; Words/Sentence: 21
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(8), employees(6), for(6), this(5), than(5), are(5), directors(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The essay missed the question a little; you should present views from two sides.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, showing an awareness of styles and collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a fair degree of accuracy.
Answer 2
Now, society is highly polarized into two groups equally because the increased wages should be paid to managers or laborers in huge enterprises...

To commence with, myriad reasons can be attributed to paying more rupees to the business's boss. First and foremost, everyone wants a high position in their field, but only a few people can achieve it...

Shifting towards the second school of thought, employees' role in the foundation can not be overlooked...

Although it is commonly believed that managers should be paid more than staff members, I think neither role can be neglected in the overall development of an organization...
Band: 6.5
View full answer
View comments
......