Some people think the spread of multinational companies and globalization produce positive outcomes for everyone

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #6086
Question:
Some people think the spread of multinational companies and globalization produce positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Answer 1
Over the last few decades, many companies have pursued gaining market share by establishing production in new countries...

First and foremost, globalization significantly affects the outlook of the global economy. On the one hand, it provides new job opportunities for local people...

On the other hand, such companies commonly have a more efficient and low-cost manufacturing process due to innovative technologies and methodologies, which leads to selling quality products at lower prices than domestic firms...

In conclusion, there are many benefits of entering foreign corporations in areas worldwide as they improve the economic situation, help everyone find a job, and increase the internal market quality...
Band: 7
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Answer 2
In the recent past, the world has been integrated economically, socially, politically, and culturally, and all these are credits of globalization...

Everyone can enjoy such a move when a company opens a new branch in a different country. Firstly, it creates job opportunities for local people and reduces unemployment...

I believe that globalization has contributed a lot to the growing global economy. These days, companies can sell their products in the international market rather than local shops as imports and exports between nations can be done without hassle...

In conclusion, I believe globalization enabled a lot of development in various sectors, which is advantageous to all...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words26114254%
Top 300 Words124 (47%)42 (29%)33%
300 - 1000 Words51 (19%)35 (24%)68%
Over 1000 Words86 (32%)65 (45%)75%
Other Comments (mf)
Link Words: 19 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 15; Average Length: 112 characters; Words/Sentence: 17
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(10), can(7), their(5), has(4), globalization(4), countries(4), world(3); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented, but some are not developed much.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, showing an awareness of styles and collocation.