In many countries, people wear western dresses (suits, jeans) more than traditional types of clothing, why and is it a positive or negative development?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try my essay.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7101
Question:
In many countries, wear western dress (suits, jeans) more than traditional types of clothing, why and is it a positive or negative development?
Answer Hints:
The question has two parts: the cause and your opinion about positive or negative. In the first part, you should mention suits and jeans. It's better to discuss them separately. For traditional clothes, you should have a simple comment. For the second part, you can choose either side.

Cause
  • Globalization helps Western stuff go over the world, like values and culture.
  • Local people have accepted suits and jeans for generations, not taking them as aliens.
  • Local people can still access traditional clothes on demand and keep the original cultural elements.
Positive development
  • Enjoy fashion, practical, and cheap clothes.
  • Decrease dress conflict in multi-culture.
  • Good to people in all countries in co-existing together.
Negative development
  • Fewer people will wear traditional clothes in everyday cases.
  • Local clothes businesses will be hurt.
  • All countries, including England and France, will see traditional clothes culture disappear unless protecting them actively.
Answer 1
Considering globalization, people nowadays prefer western-style dresses, such as suits and jeans, rather than conventional. I firmly believe this dress tendency benefits the people in all nations if the local society still respects traditional culture, including clothing.
Globalization doesn't impact each other ...
By Postee Shaw, 2023-02-08  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 354
Band: 7
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response, but don't mention the disadvantages of traditional clothing.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generally arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a wide range of structures, these are used flexibly; there is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.