Organized tours to remote places and communities are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for local people and the environment?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #7102
Question:
Organized tours to remote places and communities are increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for local people and the environment?
Answer Hints:
The question has two keys: 'organized tours' means mass visitors; 'remote places' means few populations and fragile ecosystems. So the answer should be a negative development. If you choose the reverse side, you will be doubted to misunderstand the question or reuse an early essay. Besides, you need to discuss both local people and the environment.

Negative development
  • Mass visitors need tour facilities that damage ecosystems.
  • The travel industry takes local public resources, like traffic and energy.
  • Crowded shops and high prices impact local people's everyday lives.
  • Nature environment, like forest, river, and beach, risks non-recoverable changes.
Supplement
  • The travel industry brings jobs and other economic benefits.
  • Unless most residents agree, plus strict environmental protection, organized tours shouldn't be suitable for remote places.
Answer 1
Organized tours to remote places and communities have become increasingly popular recently. While these tours can benefit the local economy and offer unique cultural experiences to tourists, they can also negatively impact local communities...

It's different from individual visiting that organized tours are a business activity that needs particular facilities, such as tour buses, hotels, and restaurants, which local people hardly use or enjoy...

Local people's everyday life will be disturbed by the development. For example, large numbers of tourists can lead to overcrowding and strain local resources, such as housing and food supplies...

Organized tours aren't friendly to the environment, either. More people and more activities can increase the risk of environmental degradation...

In conclusion, although organized tours to remote places may bring a few new jobs, remote locations usually have fewer people and more fragile environments...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words26313952%
Top 300 Words104 (39%)38 (27%)36%
300 - 1000 Words51 (19%)38 (27%)74%
Over 1000 Words108 (41%)63 (45%)58%
Other Comments (posteeshaw)
Link Words: 28 (including link phrase: 3)
Sentences: Number: 16; Average Length: 107 characters; Words/Sentence: 16
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(14), local(11), can(7), tours(5), organized(4), people(4), remote(3); try to decrease duplicated words.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant, but some are insufficiently developed; a real example would greatly help this topic.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, and cohesive devices are used, though mechanically.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite broad and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with a fair degree of accuracy.