Do you agree or disagree with the following statement

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #2001
Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Answer Hints:
123
Answer 1
Without a doubt, people's view on how they treat and respect one another has changed for the past 30 years or so, as fewer people really care if someone is kind or not, or if someone is honest or not. Therefore, some people tend to pay heed to what others possess as either money or occupation. I agree with the ...
By alxin, 2021-01-12  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 388
Band: 8
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are presented, extended, and supported, arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and it shows an awareness of styles and collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a variety of complex structures with frequent error-free sentences and good control over grammar and punctuation.
Answer 2
Given the power and influence of the super rich, it might seem as if social status and material possessions are the new symbols of personal worth, but in everyday life I do not...
By Jade Lee, 2017-10-16  View full answer
Total words: 255
Band: 8
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest to refine coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Answer 3
Today's world entails a different definition of a person's worth. To modern lifestyle, social status and material possessions have become immensely important. Good personality traits such as honor, kindness, and trust are not valued enough.
We belong to the era of humankind is reaching for the stars, and one would ...
By Sud, 2021-04-10  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 276
Band: 7
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-This is a well-organized essay, presenting ideas on both sides, developing these ideas effectively throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are logically organized, and there is a clear progression throughout the response.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, but you may need to rephrase "rat race of materialism" to a neutral express.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a variety of complex structures with frequent error-free sentences and good control over grammar and punctuation.
Answer 4
Others often argue that those individuals who have much more money in their hands are successful. I can't entirely agree with this opinion and think that having a lot of money with you doesn't mean that you are successful.
First of all, I believe that there are many ways to be considered one person or individual who ...
By owhell, 2020-08-29  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 303
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant, but some are insufficiently developed.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling, like "It's gives" twice
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-A few grammatical errors, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 5
Nowadays people are judged by social status and wealth, while traditional values such as honesty are being ignored. To a certain extent, I would agree with the fact that people...
By Darwin Lesmana , 2018-02-22  View full answer
Total words: 330
Band: NA
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(14) ARE(11) THEIR(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest to refine coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Answer 6
What is successful? Does it mean to be rich? This is difficult question. We can't measure success based only on richness but without other aspects. So I don't think to be...
By Sirus Gates, 2017-10-28  View full answer
Total words: 285
Band: NA
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has MONEY(12) SUCCESSFUL(6) SUCCESS(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest to use a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Conclusion seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest to refine coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Answer 7
I think that the question whether money is the main indicator of people's success is a controversial one. Some people believe that only one who earns a lot of money is...
By Rashedul Islam, 2017-10-04  View full answer
Total words: 299
Band: NA
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has PEOPLE(9) MONEY(8) AND(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest to use a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 2 seems too plain, try to polish it.