TOPIC: Many students take part-time jobs while studying in the universities. Is this a bad or good idea?
It is irrefutable that a part-time job has become a trend for youngsters during study at tertiary education. Although there is a myriad of the brighter side for the student, we cannot ignore some darker. I will elaborate on the merits and demerits of part-time jobs in the upcoming paragraphs.
Undoubtedly, doing a ...
Total words: 425
- The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
- The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
- You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(14) PART-TIME(11) JOB(11); try to decrease duplicated words.
- High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
- Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
- Obvious Grammar Errors: 7>.
Excellent essay. The conclusion is relatively weaker.