IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Many students take part-time jobs while studying in the universities. Is this a bad or good idea?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200112
TOPIC: Many students take part-time jobs while studying in the universities. Is this a bad or good idea?
Answer 1
It is irrefutable that a part-time job has become a trend for youngsters during study at tertiary education. Although there is a myriad of the brighter side for the student, we cannot ignore some darker. I will elaborate on the merits and demerits of part-time jobs in the upcoming paragraphs.
Undoubtedly, doing a ...
By jarry, 2020-03-25  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 425
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(14) PART-TIME(11) JOB(11); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 7.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7.5
Excellent essay. The conclusion is relatively weaker.