TOPIC: Some TV programmes, video games, and other leisure activities are harmful on children. How harmful they are? What can be done to solve these problem?
As newer advancements in technologies continue to develop, some of the modern gadgets impact adverse effects on children. Behavioral issues, eye problems, and poor academics are some significant drawbacks of being involved in such activities. Taking some serious measures, like engaging youngsters in some healthy ...
Total words: 314
- Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
- Obvious Grammar Errors: 7>.
The logic and idea are ok, but both structure and grammar have rooms to refine.