IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

 Actions
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200207
TOPIC: Nowadays, people are spending more time away from their homes because they spend longer in their workplace. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
Answer 1
Nowadays, people are becoming workaholic. They spend quite an of time on workplace instead of with their family. Some people believe that it is worthwhile for the individual and his family, so they can quickly fulfill the financial needs. Opponents ponder that it get an adverse impact on a personal relationship. I will ...
By jarry, 2020-03-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 463
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(12) THAT(10) PEOPLE(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 10.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Excellent writing. But if you want to be "Political correctness", support family first is easier to say.
Answer 2
In this highly competitive world, people are drowning in their fully-booked schedules. Recently there has been a growing tendency of workaholics sacrificing their leisure time at home to spend more time working. In this essay, I will provide a rationale for the benefits and drawbacks of the mentioned above habit ...
Total words: 316
AI Comment:
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Excellent essay, especially in logic and reasoning, but a few grammar errors impacted its mark.
Answer 3
Nowadays, people tend to invest more time into their career. There is increasing debate on whether this is a good practice. In this essay, I will outline some of the corresponding benefits and limitations from various points of view, such as personal development, family bonding, and health.
Spending longer hours ...
By Rachel, 2020-03-31  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 384
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(12) AND(10) HOURS(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 9.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Good essay. If you want to impress the readers easier, show and support your view clearly is a shortcut.