IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200216
Question:
People are becoming too dependent on the Internet and phone. Is it a positive or negative development?
Answer 1
It is irrefutable that a mobile phone has become an indispensable part of human being life, and individuals are more reliant on artificial intelligence rather than the person. Some people ponder that there are umpteen numbers of the brighter side of innovation, but we cannot overlook the negative point of using mobile ...
By jarry, 2020-03-04  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 464
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Rephrase places of repeated "era". Add one or two more sentences to the conclusion.
Answer 2
In this technological world, it has been seen that people become more dependent on mobile phones and the internet as compare to the past. It is due to the easy availability of networks and a wide variety of services on mobile phone. I think it has brought both positive and negative aspects on individuals and society as ...
By Gurjeet , 2020-02-29  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 322
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Good job! Try to shrink the 2 supporting paragraphs and add the 3rd point.
Answer 3
In recent years, technology has become a routine usage for human well being, from connecting people worldwide to vast mode of research and education for students.
Looking firstly at the positive impact of the advancement of technology, it can make things easier for working adults as well as for research students. ...
By Avliin , 2020-02-25  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 266
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
The introduction is too simple, add third supporting point.
Answer 4
The advent of smartphones has led to widespread internet addiction. Although this shift has its conveniences, it signals a decline in healthy activity.
Those who contend that the overall value of phones and the internet is a net positive can easily point to its versatility. The vast majority of people today would ...
By Education , 2020-02-26  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 293
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
You should enhance the introduction, state your view clearly, refine 2 supporting points, and add third one.
Answer 5
In the present era internet and phone are extensively used all over the world by people of all ages except newborn babies. We start our day looking at our phone and end our day with it too. And the question, it is our dependency on mobile and phone is a positive or negative development is quite valid. I would like to ...
By Shamvabi, 2020-03-03  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 311
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
"Advertently" paragraph should use a better example, no death in any exam. You may add another point to support the positive side.
Answer 6
The popularity of the internet and phone use is on the rise in a world filled with technology and innovations. While some support the idea that it's a positive trend among young people and developed societies, I would favor those who believe that the negative side of dependency outweighs the user's development.
To ...
By sandy, 2020-07-16  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 276
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
The logic and reasoning look ok, but the structure needs to improve. It seems not to finished because the latter part is too weak.
Answer 7
It is argued that individuals are becoming prone to gadgets and the internet. I strongly agree these developments have a positive effect on an individual. In the essay given below, the pros and cons of its development are mentioned.
Firstly, the phone acts as a crucial part of a person's day to day life. Due to a ...
By Hameeda, 2020-08-21  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 350
Band: 5.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy. Conclusion is too simple.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically, e.g. "as well as" and "inturn".
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There are attempts to produce complex structures, but some contain errors.
- Help Link
Answer 8
In the world today, technology has become an essential tool in every day's life. People rely on technical resources more, as compared to other sources of communication. It is due to a fact that, benefits of the internet and phone throw a positive influence on an individual's existence. In this essay, I shall discuss ...
By AH, 2020-03-06  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 257
Band: 5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
You should offer a clear position and pros of it. Writing some sentences is one thing; high marks need those sentences to express or support your idea.