IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people believe that learning science is necessary for everyone, others disagree. Discuss both views and mention your opinion.

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200529
TOPIC: Some people believe that learning science is necessary for everyone, others disagree. Discuss both views and mention your opinion.
Answer 1
Science is one of the oldest and most important academic disciplines of the world and covers various subjects. While some people claim that science education should be mandated, many argue otherwise. This essay shall debate both viewpoints and form a conclusion.
Science helps our understanding of the world around ...
By AD, 2020-09-14  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 263
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-You should present views from two sides by the question equally, then plus your position.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Some sentences are wordy, "it is not everyone's cup of tea" shouldn't be IELTS writing.
Lexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 2
Education has an important role in everyone's life. Some people think that it is mandatory to study science, while others argue that it is not essential. Like any debate, it is imperative to examine both sides of the view.
On the one hand, science has a predominant role in people's lives. To begin with, it is ...
By Divz, 2020-07-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 265
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has SCIENCE(9) PEOPLE(6) NOT(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Conclusion seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 7.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy and not in the style that academic writing should be in. E.g, shouldn't use "you."
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, with some simple cohesive devices, but sometimes used inaccurately.
- Help Link
Answer 3
With the advent of globalization, science starts to play a key role in children's education. While school authorities claim that science-related subjects should be mandatory in both primary and second educations, students believe that is unnecessary, and it will waste their time. This essay will consider both ...
By Farhad, 2020-09-01  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 261
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Task Response:
-The prompt is not fully addressed, there is an attempt to discuss two views, but ideas are limited and not clear, 2nd and 3rd should be re-structured.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident; however, the answer lacks contextualization, and cohesion within sentences is sometimes faulty.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-Some spelling errors are noted; the essay's vocabulary is too plain.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Some grammatical errors, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2