IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities (crosswords, chess, etc.). Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200602
TOPIC: Some people prefer to relax by doing physical activities, while others choose mental activities (crosswords, chess, etc.). Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Answer 1
People have divided into the opinion whether physical exercises are a more significant way to relax and calm, while opponents believe that mental exercises such as chess, crosswords. I think both are important ways to keep calm. It is the onus of people who would like to choose.
Undoubtedly, the major benefit of ...
By jarry, 2020-06-12  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 407
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(18) PEOPLE(8) PHYSICAL(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 3 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Excellent essay, please notice to overcome tiny grammar issues. The essay still has room to shrink wordy sentences.
Answer 2
Relaxation is necessary for an individual that mainly improves their minds' physical and mental status. Different people think differently about spending a relaxing time. While some mostly do physical activities such as exercise, others consider mental activities such as chess or crosswords as the best. I believe both ...
By Anoop KM, 2020-06-13  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 348
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(13) THEIR(11) ACTIVITIES(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Excellent essay, please notice to overcome tiny grammar issues. In the conclusion "children" shouldn't be mentioned.
Answer 3
It is widely acknowledged that relaxation is vital for a healthy body, mind and soul. Many choose to have hobbies, which composed of physical and mental stimulations, to unwind from their busy work life. I strongly believe that both activities are very pleasurable and cannot be omitted in combatting a stressful ...
By mushroom, 2020-06-13  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 307
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 9.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Excellent essay, but not sufficient on "Discuss both views." You may drop the last paragraph, and rephrase the second paragraph to two paragraphs.
Answer 4
Due to day to day work activities such as unending office works or house chores, mostly all the humans are in search of one or the other activities to distress. Many like to sweat it out by involving themselves in physical activities such as playing outdoor games like football, cricket, volleyball, etc. or physical ...
By Mariam, 2020-06-10  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 265
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has ACTIVITIES(7) WORK(5) PHYSICAL(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
The response and logic are ok. You may divide the second paragraph into two for physical and mental activities respectively. Besides, the introduction is a little wordy.
Answer 5
In today's fast-paced world, people are struggling to get a balance between work and social life. The time to relax is minimal. However, people still try their best to take out a little time out of their busy schedules for physical or recreational activities in order to refresh their minds. Both physical and mental ...
By ARay, 2020-06-12  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 263
AI Comment:
  • The introduction seems long, refine sentences.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
The essay answered the question well. But your grammar skills need to be enhanced. E.g., the first sentence in the original version is wrong, "In today's fast paced world where people are struggling to get a balance between work and social life."
Answer 6
Relaxing is vital as it helps us to ease and makes us comfortable, but there are different ways by which we can relax. Some choose to do so by doing physical activities, while others prefer to do the mental task. Both of these methods have their advantages. I choose to do so by doing yoga and light exercise ...
By bikas pandey, 2020-06-12  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 292
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(13) SOME(4) YOGA(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
The original version has too many grammar errors, which hurt your score. Besides, the question is ask WHY some "prefer" or "choose", the essay doesn't focus on it.
Answer 7
Relaxation is a must for all beings; both men and women in this challenging word work for at least 8 hours a day to earn their living. So they deserve a break now and then to keep things going. In this essay, we will discuss the types of relaxations and identify which fits where.
Relaxation can vaguely be ...
By Sam, 2020-06-11  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 301
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
The essay didn't answer the question. "both men and women in this challenging word work" is too far from the question. The question is about "why", the answer is about "what." Raters have reason to believe this is a re-memoried answer.