IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200822
TOPIC: Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?
Answer 1
In this modern era, people want to follow the materialistic lifestyle, so they work night and day due to lack of time to cook at home. I firmly agree that it surely has detrimental effects on their health if they rely on eating junk food on a daily bases. I shall delve into the causes and demerits of having junk food ...
By Abhi Dabhi, 2020-09-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 298
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Task Response:
-This is a well-organized essay, presenting ideas on your view, developing these ideas effectively throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a clear central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices, although a few sentences are wordy.
Lexical Resources:
-Vocabulary is the strongest aspect of the response.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy.
Answer 2
There is no doubt the lifestyle and eating habits of individuals are changing the last few decades, and these habits put an adverse impact on health and also bring deleterious ailments in youngster life. I agree with this statement fast food is dangerous for individual life, and it is the onus of people change their ...
By jarry, 2020-09-17  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 353
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(13) FOOD(10) LIFE(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a clear position is presented throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors, like "in these days." occur mutiple times.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and it shows an awareness of styles and collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There are attempts to produce complex sentence forms, but there is a lack of grammatical control, which can cause some difficulty for the reader.
- Help Link
Answer 3
No doubt eating junk food has lead to an unhealthy lifestyle among the younger generation. While some people believe that eating junk food is not a primary concern, others argue this can lead to various health issues. I completely agree with this statement, and in this essay, I will support my views with examples ...
By Vikrant, 2020-09-18  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 277
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(10) FOOD(9) JUNK(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 8.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy and not in the style that academic writing should be in.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression, but the third paragraph is off the question a little. It hurts the final score.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is sufficient to allow some flexibility and precision, and although there are a few spelling errors.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 4
The food habits of people have changed significantly over a couple of decades. Most of the time, they prefer to consume 'ready to cook' meals instead of traditional food due to lack of time or solely for taste. However, this trend has adverse effects on their health. I feel that the regular consumption of fast food is ...
By Harjeet, 2020-09-16  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 301
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-The main ideas are relevant, but "youth" is insufficiently developed, you just mentioned at begin and end. It is off the question a little, so hard to get higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 5
We are surrounded by junk food establishments these days, and many believe that this increased consumption is a leading cause of an unhealthy lifestyle, especially among the youth. I agree with the above statement, and the following paragraphs will illustrate why.
Firstly, time is becoming the new currency, and ...
By AD, 2020-09-15  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 281
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok, but you have chance to develop nore sufficiently.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The response is organized into paragraphs, but some sentences are wordy or too long to understand..
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though some repeating words, like "unhealthy", should be fixed.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but there are a few errors in grammatical control
- Help Link
Answer 6
An unhealthy lifestyle and obesity have become more prevalent among young people these days. Some argue that the issue is caused by eating junk food. Personally, I agree that junk food has contributed to unhealthy lifestyles. However, a deeper root cause might be stress from working or studying.
Junk food will ...
By whiteduck, 2020-10-04  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 283
AI Comment:
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented, but there is not much development of some.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and naturally.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 7
Nowadays, public health has become a more critical issue than in past days. Some people claim that people's habit of having an unhealthy diet has caused some health issues, especially in the young generation. I agree with this argument, and in the looming paragraphs, the essay will argue to support this view.
The ...
By vaimik, 2020-09-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 255
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Task Response:
-The ideas presented are not always developed and or relevant, like "foreign students" that is off the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident; however, the answer lacks contextualization, and cohesion within sentences is sometimes faulty.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The range of lexis isn't generally adequate and appropriate.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 8
There is no doubt that people's eating habits have been changed over the last years due to the lack of time to cook at home. Fast food has diverse impacts on the human body. Specifically, young children are facing the detrimental effects of having junk food, and I firmly agree with this. In further paragraphs, the ...
By vaimik patel, 2020-09-21  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 284
AI Comment:
  • Paragraph 2 is relatively short, enrich it.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The main idea is relevant, but it's not insufficiently developed. Your two paragraphs are talking about same or similar thing. It is a good response that would achieve an even higher score if there was more supportings.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 9
Have you ever thought that the bad diet habit of the young generation how could affect their health conditions? This essay agrees that junk food is the main reason behind many health problems. I believe meals like pizza and sandwiches as the main meal cause health issues like heart diseases and physical shape problems. ...
By mohammad, 2020-09-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 255
AI Comment:
  • The introduction seems long, refine sentences.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but the introduction is too long and conclusion is too short. the essay's structure isn't balanced.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Some cohesive devices are used effectively, while others are faulty.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-Some spelling errors are noted; the essay's vocabulary is too plain.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There aren't enough complex structures.
- Help Link