Question:
In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals for food or animal products, such as clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the 21st century, modern technology has changed the world profoundly. Some people argue that we now have various elements and substances that can replace animals to produce meals and supply to the medical and garment industry. Although I agree with this trend, I also argue that we still need animal products.
On ...
Band: 6.5
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.Task Response:-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt. But some ideas aren't supported with clear examples, a better way is to discuss food, clothing, and medicine separately.
Coherence and Cohesion:-The organization is evident and cohesive devices are used, though rather mechanically.
Lexical Resources:-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.