Some people think new homes must be built with private outdoor spaces such as a garden, yard, or balcony

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #6850
Question:
Some people think new homes must be built with private outdoor spaces such as a garden, yard, or balcony. Do you think this is more advantageous or more disadvantageous?
Answer 1
Nowadays, people are pursuing a higher quality of life and a better-designed home. Some are inclined to buy new houses with private outdoor spaces such as gardens, yards, or balconies...

Admittedly, private outdoor areas provide some benefits for the owners, enabling them to enjoy gardening or fresh air without leaving home...

However, open spaces in homes cause safety concerns since they are easy targets for thieves. Social research suggests that people who live in a house with a yard opt to leave the door unlocked, allowing criminals to enter effortlessly...

Private outdoor space may also lead to health problems without proper management. Yards and balconies collect dirt easily without residents' notice...

In conclusion, the merits of having a personal outdoor space are no match to its demerits. People should be aware of the potential security and health risks associated with gardens and balconies and thereby be opposed to living a safer and more comfortable life...
Band: 7.5
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Answer 2
It is claimed by many that modern accommodation should be provided with outdoor spaces like parklands or lawns...

Proponents of the usefulness of outdoor green areas often point to the yards' countless benefits in front of the houses...

Nevertheless, considering some valuable benefits listed above, maintaining open-door spaces could be a considerable investment of time and money...

In conclusion, despite some tangible benefits of living in houses with an outdoor space, they might not be safe and could be a costly and time-consuming privilege...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words28315053%
Top 300 Words153 (54%)51 (34%)33%
300 - 1000 Words42 (14%)30 (20%)71%
Over 1000 Words88 (31%)69 (46%)78%
Other Comments (farid)
Link Words: 24 (including link phrase: 7)
Sentences: Number: 14; Average Length: 125 characters; Words/Sentence: 20
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(8), outdoor(7), could(7), for(7), with(6), spaces(6), their(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
Task Response:
-The prompt is not fully addressed; there is an attempt to discuss some benefits and disadvantages, but ideas are limited to the disadvantage side.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Each paragraph has a precise central topic, which is developed, and there is an effective use of cohesive devices.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a good range of vocabulary, and there are some less common words and phrases
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy. Grammar and punctuation are well controlled.
Answer 3
A few individuals believe that it is necessary to include private open-air space such as a garden, yard, or balcony to design a new home upon construction...

Firstly, a landscape is essential. A building without a touch of green as plants is dull. It will not look like a house but a warehouse...

Secondly, it is a good place for hobbies like planting. Hence, taking advantage of the sun's benefits not only by the plants but also by the person with a green thumb cultivating them...

In general, open space is necessary to include building a new house because of the advantages that are considered essential to human needs like the fresh air, the sunshine, the pleasant environment, and many more, thus contributing to every individual's good health...
Band: 6
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