Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #7013
Question:
Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer Hints:
Agree and disagree questions. You can choose either side to answer.

Reasons to agree
  • Children's health is more important than academic courses.
  • Diverse experiences and knowledge help more than textbooks in a long run.
  • Not every course is critical for each kid.
  • Physical activities can build many vital characteristics, like teamwork and persistence.
Reasons to disagree
  • Academic courses are the basis of all creative work.
  • If not hardworking, many kids cannot touch a basic line to pass the exam.
  • Physical activities can build some skills, but just a few people can earn a job or career by which.
Answer 1
Considering the impact of studies and physical activities in life is crucial. Some people think parents should push their children to spend their time primarily in physical activities; I believe that studies play an equally vital role in the individual's life and should go hand-in-hand with physical tasks...

Encouraging children to get involved in physical activities, especially in recent times when there is a rise in health-related issues, is extremely important...

Nevertheless, studies are integral to the overall development and should not be neglected. Formal education makes children better equipped for the adult world by teaching them subjects such as maths, literature, and art, which have lifelong implications...

In conclusion, although physical excursion is essential as it promotes physical and mental health, studies are integral to individuals' overall development...
Band: 7
View full answer
View comments
Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words26514253%
Top 300 Words126 (47%)49 (34%)38%
300 - 1000 Words34 (12%)27 (19%)79%
Over 1000 Words105 (39%)66 (46%)62%
Other Comments (kk)
Link Words: 29 (including link phrase: 2)
Sentences: Number: 12; Average Length: 144 characters; Words/Sentence: 22
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(13), physical(8), studies(6), children(6), activities(5), their(5), better(5); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation.
Answer 2
Practicing physical exercise is becoming more popular nowadays. Some people believe parents should encourage their children to spend more time doing physical activities than studying...

Even though an academic career has been considered the principal goal for each student, spending long hours for the same purpose is unacceptable...

Practicing physical exercise is ubiquitous all over the world, especially in the fast-paced era. In detail, such activities will boost one's physical and mental health...

To conclude, it is considered that children must be encouraged by their parents to participate in such physical activities rather than spend more time on academics...
Band: 6.5
View full answer
View comments
......
Answer 3
It is no longer a hidden intention of parents in contemporary societies to sculpt their children into the best form to succeed in life...

First, the proponents suggest physical activities are a great way to de-stress and significantly shake off academic pressure...

Following the above scenario, education should not be ditched as it is undeniably an essential tool for a guaranteed future...

In conclusion, parents must monitor their children's academic and mental health to ensure they learn and grow best...
Band: 6
View full answer
View comments
......
Answer 4
Nowadays, many parents discourage their children from studying and prefer to do some physical activities...

On the one hand, children should know what their priorities are and keep a balance between studying and physical activities...

On the other hand, parents need to understand that studying plays a crucial role in a child's development...

In conclusion, if parents and children understand the value of studying and exercise, we will have tremendous results...
Band: 5.5
View full answer
View comments
......