Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer

IELTS Writing Task 2 & Answer: Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #7020
Question:
Today due to advanced medicine, people are living longer. Therefore, the number of elders is expected to exceed that of young people. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Answer 1
These days medicine has achieved incredible results, and many people can live longer now. This trend has resulted in numerous debates. One school of thought opines that fewer job opportunities can be available for youngsters. However, others consider that elders can share valuable experiences.
On the one hand, it is ...
By Tim, 2021-03-26  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 268
Band: 6
The below version has fixed some obvious lexical and grammatical defects. The band is by the revised version, but comments are based on the original version.
Task Response:
-The prompt is not fully addressed, there is an attempt to discuss some benefits and disadvantages, but ideas are limited. The topic's key word isn't "job."
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and there is a clear central topic to each paragraph.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar.