Do you agree or disagree with the following statement

IELTS Writing Task 2 (Essay): Hints and Sample Answers Let me try to write.
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #6615
Question:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Answer 1
For most people, the enjoyment of playing a game is intricately tied to the satisfaction of winning...

Firstly, winning in a game provides a sense of mastery, competence, and achievement. The thrill of overcoming challenges, outsmarting opponents, and achieving one's goals can elicit feelings of pride, confidence, and self-esteem...

Secondly, winning in a game often triggers positive reinforcement and reward pathways in the brain, releasing neurotransmitters such as dopamine that are associated with pleasure and satisfaction...

Moreover, winning in a game can enhance social status, recognition, and validation within a peer group or community...

However, it's essential to recognize that the enjoyment of playing a game is subjective and can vary from person to person...
Band: 6.5
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Word Statistics
GroupWord NumberDistinctPercent
All Words27414151%
Top 300 Words128 (46%)33 (23%)25%
300 - 1000 Words49 (17%)31 (21%)63%
Over 1000 Words97 (35%)77 (54%)79%
Other Comments (guofishkore)
Link Words: 26 (including link phrase: 1)
Sentences: Number: 14; Average Length: 129 characters; Words/Sentence: 19
Suggestions:
IELTS Essay Format:
-You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has and(17), winning(9), game(7), that(5), sense(5), can(5), for(4); try to decrease duplicated words.
-High-ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing; suggest rephrasing some.
-Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level.
-Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.