IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people believe that charity organisations should help people wherever they live, others think they should attend their countries only. Discuss both and give your opinion.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200114
TOPIC: Some people believe that charity organisations should help people wherever they live, others think they should attend their countries only. Discuss both and give your opinion.
Answer 1
Humanitarian establishments, in line with their vision, offer aid to needy - locally, nationally as well as internationally. While some have a belief that such altruistic efforts must be expansive with a global reach, others are stating these be confined to domestic boundaries. In this essay, whilst surely scrutinizing ...
By Reef, 2020-04-04  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 337
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Reasoning is good, "coronavirus" is a very good example here. But language seems wordy and isn't very formal. Try to polish it as an IELTS essay.
Answer 2
People are divided into the views whether the humanitarian organization provides aid to all individual who belongs to any nation, whereas only their particular country. Although, according to my views, it should be the onus of the charitable organization that gives help to all folks rather than the specific nation and ...
By jarry, 2020-05-01  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 439
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(13) ALL(12) ORGANIZATION(11); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 4 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Good essay. If you refine the former part and enhance the conclusion, it should get a higher score. Besides, coronavirus is becoming a political issue, which you should avoid touching in IELTS writing.