TOPIC: Some people think nowadays children have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that twenty-first-century youngsters have more liberty than the previous generation. Although I believe that they have the power of the internet and obtain an abundance of knowledge and find the number of opportunities as compare to old pupils. I agree with this perspective today's generation has more ...
Total words: 412
- The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
- You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
- You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(16) HAVE(12) THEIR(11); try to decrease duplicated words.
- High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 4 as start point.
- Obvious Grammar Errors: 2>.
The essay is ok, although a little wordy. You should focus on "too much freedom", not the internet and study. The "girl" example shouldn't be there.