IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: In some countries, celebrities earn higher salaries than senior politicians. What are the reasons? Is it a negative or positive development?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200119
TOPIC: In some countries, celebrities earn higher salaries than senior politicians. What are the reasons? Is it a negative or positive development?
Answer 1
Pay structure is skewed in favour of famous personalities vis-a-vis Congressmen; rationalisations being plenty, can potentially cause negative outcomes.
Superstars' wages are justified by the nature of work, coupled with their global reach. As is common knowledge, celebrities like actors or sportspersons have had ...
By Reef, 2020-04-06  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 293
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Cannot catch the question, the language lacks academic, or say IELTS, style. The second paragraph needs to be rewritten.
Answer 2
Salaries of celebs have become a very debatable issue in many nations. The number of researchers argues that the income of renowned people is much higher than the political leaders. Although I believe that the career of eminent people is shorter than the politician that reason they take high wages, I think it is more ...
By jarry, 2020-05-09  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 448
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THAT(14) THEIR(11) THEY(10); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
The question is difficult to answer. The essay's reasoning isn't strong. If you may say negative or positive, then support it. Besides, you need to improve your grammar. (https://www.examword.com/elementary-grammar/)