IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think it is important to find a permanent job. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

 Actions
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200305
TOPIC: Some people think job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others think it is important to find a permanent job. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Answer 1
Contentedness in line of work is a key feature for some whilst another group considers occupation stability as significant. Personally, I stick with the former conviction.
On the one hand is employee satisfaction with facets like nature of work, career growth opportunities inclusive of promotion, pay, supervision, ...
By Reef, 2020-04-03  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 290
AI Comment:
  • The introduction isn't strong enough, suggest to enhance it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
It's a difficult question to the IELTS test taker. The essay's logic isn't apparent, example of "matchmaking parents" shouldn't be there. Besides, academic writing should be as formal as possible.
Answer 2
People are divided into the views weather job satisfaction is more important for people and job security. Some people ponder that permanent job is crucial for people and it is a stable source of income, whereas opponents believe that job contentment is essential for them. Although in my opinion, job comfort is more ...
By jarry, 2020-04-12  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 476
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has JOB(19) AND(16) PEOPLE(12); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Good essay, the reasoning is ok, but you shouldn't mention "startup" when talking job. Besides, ugly grammar and spelling errors in the original version, like "a person more skilled in their work" and "loo," ruined the score.