IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: It has been observed that most of the students at University do not choose science to study. Why does it happen? What are the effects on society?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200309
TOPIC: It has been observed that most of the students at University do not choose science to study. Why does it happen? What are the effects on society?
Answer 1
Popularity among the pupils. Some people assert that in these days, student takes more interest in information technology, engineering, and management-related subjects at tertiary education rather than the medical field. I will not only elaborate on this notion but also share some adverse impact on society decreases ...
By jarry, 2020-03-17  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 464
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(10) THAT(9) SCIENCE(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 7.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Excellent writing, but a little wordy, suggest to shrink it.
Answer 2
Judging from various polls, majority undergraduates opt for Humanities followed by Business and Management, with science lagging far behind. In this essay, an astute scrutiny will pinpoint that several factors influence their choice, which in turn affects the world as a whole.
Simply stating, educatees just do not ...
Total words: 287
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Grammar and vocabulary are good, as well as reasoning, but the fluency and conclusion have room to refine. Besides, religion-related examples should be cautious not to offend 'Political correctness.'