IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people believe that school should no longer be necessary because children can obtain information from the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200314
TOPIC: Some people believe that school should no longer be necessary because children can obtain information from the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Answer 1
The advent of the internet has changed many aspects of human life, from economic to social dimensions. It is argued that the internet provides a wide array of educational materials and potentially replace the education system at school. I firmly disagree with this notion, and the presence of formal education of school ...
By GP, 2020-05-07  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 279
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Excellent essay. Suggest to enhance the latter part, or consider to add one more support point.
Answer 2
School is playing an integral role in pupils life without teacher children cannot obtain knowledge during the initial stage. Some people believe that the proliferation demand of internet child can easily attain knowledge from it, whereas others argue that wireless connection cannot replace the value of a teacher. I ...
By jarry, 2020-03-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 438
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(11) THEY(11) THAT(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 8.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The introduction and conclusion should be rewritten. And by the original version, its syntax should be improved.
Answer 3
Nowadays, the majority of people believe that school is lower demanded than the past by as the development of the internet intervene to help students access knowledge more efficiently. However, I think that school is essential to personal growth as it shapes humanities and promotes different interests of humans by ...
By Siiiilvia, 2020-05-06  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 305
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 6.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Structure and reasoning are good. But you should use school, not college, as examples to discuss. Besides, the original version has too heavy grammar errors.
Enhance your grammar:
https://www.examword.com/elementary-grammar/