IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people believe that school should no longer be necessary because children can obtain information from the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200314
TOPIC: Some people believe that school should no longer be necessary because children can obtain information from the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Answer 1
School is playing an integral role in pupils life without teacher children cannot obtain knowledge during the initial stage. Some people believe that the proliferation demand of internet child can easily attain knowledge from it, whereas others argue that wireless connection cannot replace the value of a teacher. I ...
By jarry, 2020-03-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 438
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(11) THEY(11) THAT(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 8.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The introduction and conclusion should be rewritten. And by the original version, its syntax should be improved.