IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: The demand for food is increasing worldwide. Why has it happened? What measures could the international community take to improve the situation?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200820
TOPIC: The demand for food is increasing worldwide. Why has it happened? What measures could the international community take to improve the situation?
Answer 1
Throughout the world, meeting the needs of the food of people is becoming more difficult each year. The increasing global population is the main cause of this problem, and international attempts to develop food sources can alleviate the high demand for food.
To begin with, the major contributor to the rising demand ...
By JSY, 2020-09-11  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 303
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has FOOD(19) FOR(7) GLOBAL(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 7
Task Response:
-Ideas relating to each sector mentioned in the prompt are presented, but there is not much development of solutions.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is logical, and there is a clear central topic to each paragraph.
Lexical Resources:
-There is a wide range of vocabulary, used appropriately and naturally.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-A variety of complex structures is used with some flexibility and accuracy.
Answer 2
Today, the world's population has increased from 6 billion to 7 billion in the last 10 years. It shows how drastically the population has increased all over the world in a short period. Thereby, the demand for food has also increased. India and China have been the two countries that have maximum populations. It has ...
By SassyBaddie, 2020-08-30  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 420
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(12) THAT(11) THIS(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 4 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 7.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Task Response:
-The reason part is too weak; the essay's structure isn't balanced.
-The example of "waste" isn't persuasive here, too long, like a fake one to count word number.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The response is organized into paragraphs, but the focus of each is not always clear.
-Some sentences are wordy or too long to understand.Lexical Resources:
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There are attempts to produce complex structures, but these usually contain errors.
- Help Link
Answer 3
It is an irrefutable fact that a rapidly growing population and problems facilitating them have gained the attention of global leaders in the past few decades. This situation has caused immense consumption of eatable products in almost every part of the globe. In this essay, I shall delve into various reasons for such ...
By Dolly , 2020-08-26  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 359
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 10.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy and not in the style that academic writing should be in.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression; the solution part is weak; the essay's structure isn't balanced.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Some grammatical errors, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
-and nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2