IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Consumers often face an overwhelming amount of advertising from competing companies. To what extent does advertising make influences on consumers? How to protect them from such influences?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200903
TOPIC: Consumers often face an overwhelming amount of advertising from competing companies. To what extent does advertising make influences on consumers? How to protect them from such influences?
Answer 1
While some extent the excessive advertisements from various competing companies have greatly influenced consumers, others remain skeptical about this viewpoint. I believe that the former point can be justified. I will further elaborate on the reasons and provide solutions in the following paragraphs.
It is my belief ...
By chouray, 2020-10-09  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 277
AI Comment:
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Task Response:
-This is a well-organized essay, presenting ideas on both sides, developing these ideas effectively throughout the response.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-The range of vocabulary is quite wide and shows awareness of collocation, but there are rather too many errors for a higher band here.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a good range of complex structures, and many sentences have accurate grammar and punctuation; but still has a few grammatical errors, such as article (a, an, the).
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Answer 2
Amongst the significant issue of contemporary society is desperately struggling from the countless number of advertising, which has a detrimental impact on their health and budget, has direct attention of the government and individuals to itself. Nevertheless, some useful solutions could be adopted to combat this ...
By Farhad, 2020-09-04  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 292
AI Comment:
  • Paragraph 2 is relatively short, enrich it.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 3.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt.
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy and not in the style that academic writing should be in.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression, but USSR isn't a good example. It lacked goods, not ads.
Lexical Resources:
-There are spelling errors; these impede communications, even like simple words "goods", "food"
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-The variety of structures would suggest Band 6 on Grammar, but the errors sometimes impede communication.
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