IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Today, advanced science and technology have made great changes to people’s lives, but artists such as musicians, painters, and writers are still highly valued. What can the arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200911
TOPIC: Today, advanced science and technology have made great changes to people’s lives, but artists such as musicians, painters, and writers are still highly valued. What can the arts tell us about life that science and technology cannot?
Answer 1
There is no doubt science and technology have brought a dramatic change in the individual life. However, arts such as painters, musicians, and writers greatly impact people's hearts. This essay will discuss some important points that people cannot learn from cutting-edge technology.
Undoubtedly, arts has brought ...
By jarry , 2020-11-19  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 355
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(15) PEOPLE(8) LIFE(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok, however, the 2nd paragraph is weak to your view.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-There is a clear overall progression in the response, but somewhat mechanically, with occasional errors
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.