IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: People rely on cars to commute to work. If the use of cars is unlimited, what problems does it cause? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people from using cars?

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 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2200916
TOPIC: People rely on cars to commute to work. If the use of cars is unlimited, what problems does it cause? In order to reduce the problems, should we discourage people from using cars?
Answer 1
Undoubtedly, cars have been a common means of transportation for people while travelling to their work premises. The extensive utilization of such vehicles can give birth to the burgeoning traffic congestion and air pollution. Therefore, I have an assertion that awareness among citizens to limit its use is ...
By Maya kaur, 2020-09-20  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 304
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 7.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-The main ideas are extended and supported; the response is ok.
-The example "cabs" isn't persuasive here, the topic should focus on cars.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
-The essay didn't use less common vocabulary with accuracy.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy.
Answer 2
Due to technological advancement, all spheres of life have revolutionized drastically, and the transportation industry is no exception. Nowadays, everyone owns the car who can afford it from the cheapest to the expensive. As a result, it causes many issues to an environment as well as to society. I shall delve into ...
By Abhishek Dabhi, 2020-09-21  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 355
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(10) FOR(7) CAR(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
Task Response:
-Off-topic a little, the raters may doubt the essay is memorized, please prepare topics (not essays) in advance.
- Help Link1, Help Link2
The essay seems good in writing skills, but the question is on "cars to commute", don't ask anything about how to "solve it."
Answer 3
Nowadays, residents prefer driving cars to work. In my opinion, I suppose that this phenomenon causes a great number of problems. Therefore, it is necessary to limit car users.
There are many disadvantages to using too many cars. First, people's driving cars to work can contribute to traffic congestion, especially ...
By Ve, 2020-09-24  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 283
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Conclusion as start point.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy.
-The solution paragraph shouldn't be there, it hurts the essay's structure.
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
-and nouns (singular, plural).
- Help Link1, Help Link2
Answer 4
Many people often have to travel long distances to go to work. This essay will point out that, given that the use of vehicles is out of control, it would cause environmental and traffic problems. People should be encouraged to find a substitution for cars to avoid the above issues.
With the unconstrained use of cars ...
By kinoko, 2020-09-21  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 321
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has WOULD(9) THAT(7) CARS(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-You need to put forward more reasons for why you agree with the statement, the essay doesn't need any solution to address the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The response is organized into paragraphs, but the focus of each is not always clear.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.