IELTS Academic Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Whether or not one can achieve his or her aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

 Actions
 IELTS Academic Essay Answers - #2201031
TOPIC: Whether or not one can achieve his or her aims is mostly a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
Most people believe that destiny is more significant to achieve their goals; however, successful people ponder that hard work and dedication towards their goals are key to success. I can't entirely agree with this statement that people can achieve their aim with the help of destiny. This essay will discuss this notion ...
By jarry, 2020-11-04  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 296
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(11) WORK(9) PEOPLE(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 2 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Task Response:
-All parts of the prompt are addressed, and a position is presented that is directly relevant to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-The organization is evident, with some simple cohesive devices, but sometimes used inaccurately.
- Help Link
Lexical Resources:
-The lexical resource is limited, but just about adequate for the task, try to enhance IELTS vocabulary.
- Help Link
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and although errors occur, they rarely reduce communication.
Answer 2
Whether or not success in life depends on luck or other factors has been brought into focus for some time. I will further elaborate on the reasons and give my opinion in the following paragraphs.
There are several reasons why some people believe that fortune is an important factor in success. Firstly, good fortune ...
By chouray, 2020-11-05  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 262
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Task Response:
-The logic and reasoning look good, but some sentences seem wordy and not in the style that academic writing should be in.
Coherence and Cohesion:
-Ideas are generlly arranged coherently, and there is a clear overall progression.
Lexical Resources:
-Lexis is mainly appropriate for the task, though there are some errors in word choice and spelling.
Grammar Range and Accuracy:
-Grammatical errors are frequent, such as article (a, an, the).
- Help Link1, Help Link2