IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. Discuss both the points and give your opinion.

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4191222
TOPIC: Some people believe that all the company decisions should be taken by the managers whereas others think it is better to include employees while making decisions. Discuss both the points and give your opinion.
Answer 1
People are divided into the opinion of whether the higher-level person should make an organization decision. In contrast, opponents argue that it is better to involve the labour for making a decision. According to my views, both play a paramount role in company decision worker and manager. I will elaborate not only on ...
By jarry, 2020-03-29  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 438
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(21) COMPANY(15) THAT(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
The last two paragraphs should be rewritten. The essay seems not to finish upon logic.