IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that?

 Actions
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4191228
TOPIC: Some people say that school children should learn how to grow food and cook with it in their lessons. What is your opinion about that?
Answer 1
Some individuals opine that the art of cooking and growing food must be included in the children school curriculum. It brings more positive results in teenage life, and they know about the value of food. I will elaborate on this notion and give my views in the upcoming paragraphs.
Undoubtedly, growing food in the ...
By jarry, 2020-03-29  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 473
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(25) FOOD(18) THEY(10); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 3 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The structure is ok, but reasoning and logic aren't fluent.