TOPIC: Some people believe that children under age 10 should be given their own interest subject, while others believe that should be given regular subjects. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
It is irrefutable that academic subjects have become a very debatable issue in the whole globe. Some people argue that learner should choose their academic subjects according to their interest, whereas others argue that they should attain knowledge as a standard. Although according to my perspective, offspring should ...
Total words: 498
- The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
- The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
- You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has SUBJECT(14) THAT(13) SUBJECTS(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
- High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
- Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
- Obvious Grammar Errors: 6>.
Nice but too long as an IELTS essay. Suggest to shrink 2nd and 3rd paragraphs.