IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Earlier, people wore clothes which were related to their culture. But now, people wear same type of clothes all over the world. Is this a positive development or negative development?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200111
TOPIC: Earlier, people wore clothes which were related to their culture. But now, people wear same type of clothes all over the world. Is this a positive development or negative development?
Answer 1
It is irrefutable that clothes were represented people culture and religion during the bygone days; however, nowadays, people like to wear a similar dress around the globe. Some people believe that wearing the same types of clothes are more advantageous for people as compare to ethnic wear. I will elaborate on both ...
By jarry, 2020-03-24  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 418
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(19) CLOTHES(12) WEAR(10); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 9.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Grammar and vocabulary are quite good, the reasoning has room to refine. You should give own point in the introduction, support it in the essay, and emphasize at conclusion.