TOPIC: Nowadays a few people take their family with them to abroad whenever they go for a business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages of them and on their family?
Nowadays, people have to travel abroad more often to work than ever. Some people take their family with them on the business tour, which has both pros and cons. In this essay, I will weigh advantages against disadvantages, and I will share some examples.
On the one hand, those who take their families with them on ...
Total words: 271
- You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(9) FAMILY(9) WORK(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
- High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
- Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
- Obvious Grammar Errors: 3>.
It's difficult to answer with yes or no, your answer is ok. I think talking "casual leave" isn't a good idea on the topic. Try to get other points.