IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: It is better for young people to get advises from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?

 Actions
 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200308
TOPIC: It is better for young people to get advises from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?
Answer 1
People are divided into their opinion whether they take advice from the youngster and rather than the experienced person. I partially agree with this statement, older people have more experience of whole life, but the youngster has enough knowledge about the latest technology. I will not only elaborate on the value of ...
By jarry, 2020-03-22  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 441
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(17) PEOPLE(15) THEIR(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
The essay doesn't match with the question exactly, the logic and reasoning should be refined. Besides, 'divorce rate' isn't a good example here.
Answer 2
Some people believe that if someone wants to get good help in making a big decision, it should be from older people rather than younger people. I agree with it to some extent, but there are situations where young people's advice is more valuable.
First of all, aged persons have different life experiences with the ...
By saba khilji, 2020-07-17  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 259
AI Comment:
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has PEOPLE(9) SOME(6) ARE(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 1 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
The response is good in both logic and structure, language skills need to be enhanced, the original version has some grammar errors, and its vocabulary is too plain.