TOPIC: It is better for young people to get the advises from old people than young ones. Do you agree or disagree?
People are divided into their opinion whether they take advice from the youngster and rather than the experienced person. I partially agree with this statement, older people have more experience of whole life, but the youngster has enough knowledge about the latest technology. I will not only elaborate on the value of ...
Total words: 441
- The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
- The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
- You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(17) PEOPLE(15) THEIR(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
- High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
- Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
- Obvious Grammar Errors: 1>.
The essay doesn't match with the question exactly, the logic and reasoning should be refined. Besides, 'divorce rate' isn't a good example here.