IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200510
TOPIC: Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?
Answer 1
In the present scenario number of people like to do parties and hang out with their colleagues during their free time. In contrast, some people believe that we cannot mingle personal and professional life. Although in these days a person spends the majority of time with coworkers than the family, I think that he would ...
By jarry, 2020-05-22  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 377
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(15) WITH(14) AND(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 1.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5
The original version will be under 5. Too many errors in grammar and vocabulary. "quality of time" is not a phrase, "quality time" is an informal expression, both shouldn't be in IELTS writing.
Answer 2
This age is considered to be tough when it comes to finding some refreshing hours, and to spend time with precious ones. I agree that family should be prioritized when it comes to sharing your spare hours, even though many prefer colleagues for this.
Admittedly, one can't be blamed if it's not possible to go on ...
By Ahmad Dhareja, 2020-06-26  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 251
AI Comment:
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Suggest refining coherence and cohesion by removing wordy linking words.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 5.5
Writing skills are good, but the essay didn't answer the question perfectly: "Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with colleagues?" More or less, you shifted the question.