IELTS General Essay Answers

Test materials of writing task 2: Some people believe that children should continue schooling until 18 years of age, while others suggest that schooling till 14 years of age is enough. Discuss both views and present your opinion.

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 IELTS General Essay Answers - #4200512
TOPIC: Some people believe that children should continue schooling until 18 years of age, while others suggest that schooling till 14 years of age is enough. Discuss both views and present your opinion.
Answer 1
School is not only a way to learn academic knowledge but also to shape our whole life. Some people believe that students should attain education during the age of fourteen, but others condemn this statement. Although according to my opinion children should continue their schooling at higher secondary, it is completing ...
By jarry , 2020-05-21  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 418
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The conclusion is too simple, rewrite to summarize your points.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(15) AGE(13) THAT(9); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 0.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Good essay. Your reasoning isn't powerful, especially at the second support. Vocabulary skills need to enhance, "enough" is used in the wrong position 3 times.
Answer 2
[8:33 am, 22/05/2020] Dr Mugdha:
Some would argue that children ought to complete their studies till the age of 18, while others say that continuing education until 14 years of age is sufficient. Although learning basic skills is more than enough at the age of 14 years, I believe it is better to continue study ...
By Dr Mugdha , 2020-05-21  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 355
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • The introduction isn't strong enough, suggest to enhance it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has FOR(11) THEIR(8) EDUCATION(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 3 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 1 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Good essay. The structure is its main merit. You may move "However, I believe, for mastering in a particular field, it is mandatory to continue education after the age of 18 years." to last conclusion. Besides, small grammar errors should be avoided.
Answer 3
It's argued that the time dedicated to schooling is probably more than needed in the society. While some people believe that teenagers are ready to move from school at the age of 14, others think that they need more time, till 18 years of age to be mature and well-oriented. This essay will discuss both points of view ...
By Mayssa, 2020-05-23  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 347
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has AND(13) THAT(9) FOR(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
You didn't give your opinion in conclusion. Besides, the "doctor" example cannot support its point; the Canadian article looks like a fake one, this sort of example will undermine your credibility.
Answer 4
It has been suggested that school-leaving age should be raised and pupils ought to continue their education until 18 years of age, while others hold the notion that school training until 14 is sufficient to guarantee success in life and work.
In this essay, I will justify that students ought to be required to stay ...
By Arzun Arif, 2020-05-28  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 389
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You had better rewrite the essay to 4 or 5 paragraphs.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 4 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 5.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Too weak about the view of 14, and it shouldn't matter with dropout. You need to follow a generic IELTS structure, 4-5 paragraphs in total. Besides, "a silver spoon in their mouth" shouldn't occur in an academic essay.
Answer 5
t The discussion about whether children should stay in school until 18 or 14 is a topic of concern nowadays for many parents. Some people believe that the age of 18 is enough, while others think it should be 14. This essay can be looked at as having both views.
To begin with, people have a strong assertion about ...
By Manpreet kaur, 2020-05-24  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 314
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THIS(7) SCHOOL(6) FOR(6); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 2 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 2.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Excellent IELTS essay, response to the question very well. you may get a higher score if addressing minor grammar and vocabulary issues.
Answer 6
Education has been playing a worthy role since ancient times, and in this global era, everyone needs proper knowledge regarding every field. Some people think that children should study till 12th grade while others believe that it is enough to get schooling till 14 years of life. I will discuss both views and conclude. ...
By karen, 2020-06-01  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 335
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has TILL(10) AND(9) CAN(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Good essay. In structure, a better way is two sides' views plus your choice. Merging your option into one side answered the question but not very clearly.
Answer 7
Certain individuals are of the credence that a child should pursue education till he is fourteen years of age while others opine that formal education must continue till they reach eighteen years. In my opinion, one should be schooled to 18 years of age due to various reasons, which I will elaborate in detail in the ...
By Vinay A Dikshit, 2020-06-07  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 359
AI Comment:
  • The essay is too long, suggest to shrink it.
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THEIR(11) YEARS(8) THEY(8); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Paragraph 1 as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Introduction seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6
Language skills are ok, but the response needs to be refined. You missed why some think 14 is enough. "Discuss both views" is a basic requirement. Besides, too many uncommon words also risk your score.
Answer 8
It is a widely held belief that school education for young kids must be until 18 years of age. But at the same time, there is also a strong counter-argument amongst some sections of people that studying at school until 14 years of age is sufficient. However, I think that this a matter to be debated in light of several ...
By Sri G, 2020-06-18  View full answer - Revised by tutor
Total words: 334
AI Comment:
  • You should avoid using common words repeatedly, and show your grammatical range and accuracy as possible. The essay has THAT(11) FOR(8) YEARS(7); try to decrease duplicated words.
  • High ratio basic sight words may degrade your writing, suggest to rephrase some of them. You can try to rewrite Introduction as start point.
  • Suggest using a few rare or uncommon words to demonstrate your vocabulary range and level. E.g., Paragraph 2 seems too plain, try to polish it.
  • Obvious Grammar Errors: 4.
Tutor Comment:
Band 6.5
Excellent essay, but has small syntax errors. Besides, a few sentences are wordy.